I just don’t know what to make of it. Life is just, well, strange! The view from here presents a world that, on the surface, seems like it always was. And yet it is strangely empty, like store and saloon fronts seen side-on in a western movie set. I look directly at them and their appearance is impressive, detailed, real looking. Move a bit to the right and forward and there is nothing behind the front. And that goes for this body and mind as well, just more “frontage”. Let me see if I can explain this further.
I seem to have discovered or developed some kind of more focused “lense”. Or maybe it was always there and just needed cleaning. With this lense, you just look a bit more closely and the superficiality of things is revealed. This alternate view is really quite available and easily seen. And in actuality, it takes a real balancing act with awareness focused at the the right point in relation to the objective world and thought processes to keep the whole movie-front seeming real and interactive. It’s probably just the habit, (what ever that actually is), of this activity over so many years that keeps it going: attention focused just so, interpreting thought narrating the scene, lending meaning and importance, or no importance, to various people and things. And knowing all the while this whole process is a sham. This shift in focus is a little like discovering you’ve been balancing on a fence your whole life, and you’re good at it, but now you’re wondering what the point is, and when you’ll just jump down and do something else.
All this is not really the strangest part of life now. Most of what I’m describing is still fairly familiar. What seems most strange is the growing sense of massive, benign forces and energies in motion “behind” everything. Not literally behind, but more like another adjoining dimension, or perhaps occupying the same space. These forces are a mystery, and I can only distantly and vaguely intuit what they might be, or their function…..